Promote peace and a friendlier society by discussing solutions to the root causes of conflicts.

Enjoy living a serene life via personality development.



As humans, our main source and guarantee of happiness is through peace. We seek for a world of peace, understanding amongst us,individuals, family, nations, continents and a world as a whole.

Join me in promoting peace by sourcing out solutions to issues that brings about misunderstandings, conflicts on several issues such as gender, religion, politics, race, education,social interactions.

Looking forward to getting your reactions ūüôā

6 signs to know it’s time to end a friendship.


Life is all about making decisions. Sometimes we get them right, sometimes wrong. Unfortunately, there are moments when we are unaware it’s time to make a decision. An example of such moment is ending relationships such as friendship. The reality about such a case is we usually¬†feel the right time to quit friendship is when things starts going off. When we get into a fight, when we get betrayed or generally when we realise we can no longer reconcile differences. But the fact is that not all dispute free friendships are necessarily what we need to attain maximum growth.

Below are 10 signs to quickly realise it may be time to quit a friendship.

1. Completely one-sided.

Sometimes it becomes worthless staying in a relationship where reciprocity is not part of the foundation of the relationship. Whenever you find yourself always showing more consent than the other, it might be an appropriate moment to rethink the relationship. For example you visit a friend who never visits back, calling and always asking how they feel but only call in need of help etc. The purpose of real friendship is sharing a mutual consent for each other besides that it’s no longer friendship. There are many people out there who would love and respect your attention rather than you forcing attention.

2. Very unproductive.

Without a doubt ,one of the coolest things about friendship is deriving fun from some of the most unproductive things. But we ought to be able to put some limits to the lack of productivity especially when it dominates the friendship. If not controlled, it may affect your personality as well as make you very less productive to yourself. On the other hand, a friendship may be cool but may not contribute anything productive which may be helpful for your future growth and success. Therefore staying in the relationship may not improve on the think about your growth and success for the future.

3. Fading trust.

A very important component in any friendship is trust. Once trust becomes questionable in any friendship, the friendship risks going completely off track. The origin of lack of trust could range from several issues such as gossip, envy, competition, betrayals etc. Whenever you feel a friend can no longer be trusted, you may as well want to end sharing the most intimate information about yourself. At this moment it’s advisable to quit as it may save you lots of problems in the future which you may find regrettable.

4. Different values.

Another reason to know time is right to quit a friendship is if you don’t share the same values. Sometimes people¬† get tempted in doing things that violate their values in order to save the friendship. For instance you might be invited by a friend to a party you don’t feel comfortable about due to how it contradicts your religious values. When this consistently happens, you may want to rethink the friendship.

5. Criminal.

The last situation you want to find yourself in is having to testify about something on a friend you know nothing about. Whenever you find out there is something not straight about a friend or realise he/she is a criminal, it may be the right time to quit that friendship. This will save you from lots of problems you might be caught in by hanging out with such friends.

6. Yes, yes type.

Sometimes it’s very important to have someone around you who criticise you fairly. Criticise in terms of giving you credits and criticism where they are due. In other words hanging around those who are willing to criticise you fairly aimed at bringing out the best in you. It’s never advisable to be around people who always tell you,you are the best all the time because it’s not true. Besides not being honest about it, it doesn’t help in contributing to the growth of your personality. Everyone needs someone very supportive around them but as well open-minded and honest as possible.

Not everyone we know equates to a friend. It is very possible to know so many people and having no friend amongst them. Friendship, just like any relationship involves mutual interest for each other. Sometimes it’s advisable to have just few people you can very well get along with than hang out with so many people you call friends. This is due to the fact that fewer friends are easy to handle and very less toxic than so many people.


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The role differences play in any relationship.


The world we live in is increasingly conflict tolerant. Some of these conflicts are of course very preventable. Whenever disputes spurs simply as a result of the lack of willingness by parties to create a fact-based tolerant environment, it becomes almost impossible to guarantee any stable and healthy society in the future. Sometimes facts don’t have to be owned but known. Irrespective of whatever relationship we have such as a family relation, friendship, romantic, political etc, it is very important to create a platform for fact-based type relationship. One which considers disagreement as a possibility rather than one which stirs up rivalry or destroys relationships.

Unfortunately, many relationships continue to deteriorate because people try to claim ownership of facts. This makes disagreement more threatening to relationships. We continue to find ourselves living amongst many echo chambers, from individual to large organizations, who are all about ensuring others take their sides irrespective of whether they are wrong or not. Thus considering anyone who disagrees as a threat or an enemy.  Whenever facts are based solely on our affiliation to a particular person or group of people, we suppress our ability to do critical thinking consequently quelling any interest in getting the facts.

It’s understandable why people often tend to agree¬† with each other due to¬† long-term sentimental attachments as well as the benefits they derive from these relationships. But every better relationship accepts and manages differences. Differences should not be considered a threat rather an opportunity to improve relationships. Acknowledging that differences make up part of any relationship, each party appreciates the necessity to figure out the source as well as reasons for the existence of such boundaries to create ways of better addressing them rather than an opportunity to intensify the reasons for the existence of such differences.

Differences in relationships are not always indicative of a weak relationship. Believe it or not,there are always going to be differences.Even though these differences may not be made known due to fear of misinterpretation or fear it may cost the relationship, there will always exist differences, at least in silence. This is due to the fact that humans view the world differently as well as experience change differently. Thus there is always a potential for change. Instead, an indication of a weak relationship is when differences are either restricted or forbidden by means of a party being subjected into fully agreeing on every stands with the other. This behaviour considers differences abnormal, a main reason for premature ending of relationships.

Every relationship which doesn’t tolerate any form of difference is more fragile than one which understands differences. A relationship which understands differences is more open to communication and permits each party know each other better with time. Thus there is an up to date knowledge of everyone who makes up the relationship, about how to deal with these differences. On the other hand, a relationship which blocks differences destroys communication and the opportunity of knowing partners better with time. And so, sometimes it’s just a matter of time for any difference to blow up these relationships to uncontrollable ways that could unlock hatred,pride,selfishness etc. which may contribute in prematurely ending relationships if not controlled properly.

The foundation of every relationship is an important determining factor to the future of the relationship. It is for this reason it’s imperative to try to explore possible differences like what is shared in common, as a proactive approach in resolving future disputes. Therefore the lifespan of every successful relationship is a function of a well established foundation which considers both similarities and differences as possibilities rather than just what is shared in common.


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Dealing with one-sided relationships.

”Everyone deserves a form of attention in every relationship. Prevent yourself from becoming someone’s irrelevance”


Are you currently in any form of relationship where you feel you’re giving everything to make it work whereas the other shows no interest at all?¬†

The purpose of any healthy relationship is to enjoy a mutual affection between those comprising the relationship. Be it between a family member, coworker,or a significant other, we at least ensure everyone contributes in making it beneficial for everyone. But just like any other relationship with challenges, there comes a time one is prepared to compromise by giving everything to preserve that relationship even when the other doesn’t feel interested anymore. Where your concern and effort in trying to make it work is either ignored completely or considered mind-numbing. The question is; do we continue sacrificing and being optimistic it will work out some day or are we ready to make some compromises on our sacrifices?

Just like any other problem with a root cause, one-sided relationships do have root causes which if not carefully figured out may not worth any effort in trying to preserve it. Without knowing or uncovering the underlying root cause of  a fractured relationship of this nature,one may continue to use a particular method in trying to preserve a relationship based on some secondary causes. This may end up producing little or no results and at the same time very exhausting. Therefore, even though we continue to find solutions to this relationship, we may want to keep an open mind  in order to uncover different possible causes which may help in adjusting the way we confront such problems. Unfortunately, sometimes these root causes could only be better known to the other partner who may never reveal it  thus making it difficult to uncover and becoming more challenging to deal with.

The sad reality about a one-sided relationship is that it could be extremely exhausting and sometimes not worth continuing. Any relationship should purposely be a source happiness not of grief. Whenever a relationship consists of communication solely coming from one end, there is a fundamental distort of every objective of a relationship which is that of mutual concern. Most people decide to continue insisting on the restoration of a relationship which is one-sided for different reasons; Either

  • they seek for another opportunity to make things right from a known problem for which they are aware of being the cause.
  • they hope their partners change from their present state to the what they knew them to be initially
  • they fear losing the benefits they get from the relationship which they feel they may not find somewhere else or
  • they have a personal interest in which they aim to fulfill in the relationship.

Based on some of the above suggested reasons, one can easily identify the different levels of effort required to make things work out depending on the different motives. As earlier stated, the main objective of any relationship is enjoying the shared affection and consent between those involved. Sometimes due to the fear of losing much in a staled relationship, we end up losing far more than we imagine. In other words, it is sometimes preferable to quit or not be in a relationship than be there at all, at least for the reason of preventing yourself from being consumed by toxicity which is always never healthy for well-being. It is understandable to state one’s concern or affection for someone, but the question is if you are prepared to risk losing yourself completely to achieve a goal which may probably not be attainable especially when the ones you’re trying to seek their attention considers you irrelevant.

Life is beautiful. One thing we ought to avoid is becoming a na√Įve optimist. We do have a choice to choose happiness over misery especially when it comes to relationship. Whenever yourself doing everything alone to make a relationship work whereas the other lacks interest, we may want to reconsider our state of happiness. It is therefore imperative to always surround yourself with the right people to provide the appropriate assistance and support you need to deal with such a situation. Remember, you don’t have to force someone who has openly declared their lack of interest towards you to have the same affection you have for them. Not only do you assure yourself¬† of melancholy in your quest to seek for happiness but prevent yourself from being exposed to the potential of receiving such attention and happiness somewhere else. Everyone deserves at least a form of attention in any relationship, not completely being ignored.



Quit perfection and follow authenticity.

”Always stay in touch with yourself or you may end up losing everything “.


Are you a perfectionist? Do you believe you can finally attain perfection?

Being yourself is the greatest asset you can ever have to live with. At least it is the only real thing you can ever know and enjoy a full sense of ownership. As humans tainted with flaws, one of the biggest mistakes we could make is to completely lose ourselves in our drive to completely eradicate these flaws. Instead, a better self-evaluation understands the need to improve on known weaknesses and at the same time ensuring the preservation of our authenticity. This usually results to the best outcomes.

Perfectionism is the easiest way to lose authenticity. It is simply a sign of extreme critical self-evaluation usually relating to other’s perceptions. It is unreality as most of its goals are never attainable. Whenever our goal is strictly to become flawless in every aspect in life in order to feel appreciated by everyone, not only do we end up not being appreciated by everyone or flawless, we consistently pressurize ourselves in taking a never satisfied trip.In order to be appreciated by anyone, you need to start by appreciating yourself. Having to always suppress our self-evaluation with that of others’ forfeits our sense of originality.

In our society today, aiming to become the best and aiming to be perfect are sometimes used interchangeably. These are completely two different¬† situations for the fact that both cases are motivated by different reasons. Another reason is that wanting to be the best is more achievable than wanting to be perfect. Our drive for perfection is mostly motivated by external opinions about our belonging in society. Whenever we question our sense of belonging based on the standards constantly perpetuated by the society we live in, we threaten our entire authenticity. At this point, we risk giving up ourselves in our pursuit to fulfill these requirement in order to feel accepted and appreciated. This is indicative of a poor and very unfair evaluation of one ‘s self and striving to be what you are not and probably will never be.

On the other hand, wanting to be the best is a more confident approach. The motive for wanting to be the best is often driven by a better evaluation and understanding about one’s self. It becomes trying to use what you have to bring out the best possible outcomes based on your perception, believe or experience and the same time keeping track with yourself. Due to the descent level of confidence in your personal evaluation, you easily appreciate yourself as well as appreciated by others in the process. The authentic type person is one who is not easily influenced by societal views and does not rely on these views to feel a sense of belonging either. The perfectionist is one who is easily influenced due to the fact that they need these views to find belonging and appreciation.

The world in which we live in is increasingly judgemental with time. It is for this reason we need to find a sense of belonging by a fair evaluation of how we view and evaluate ourselves.Never feel defeated by your flaws. Instead avoid adding new ones. Perfection if at all it exists, is beyond human reach. Whenever we become sensitive to views and perceptions as well as striving to change based on these opinions, we easily invite desolation and despair which of course is due to us trading who we are for who we are not.


Power, respect and violence.


How will you describe someone with power in society? Who do you consider to have respect? Are powerful people in society always respected?

Just like love, the words power and respect are some of the most misused and misinterpreted words in our society today. Depending on the environment or culture we grew up in as well as personal perception and experience, these words are given a meaning  usually based on how society portrays them to be. Different cultures seem to give different meanings to who is powerful or respected and what it takes to achieve such status.

According to Merriam-Webster, power is defined as possession of control, authority or influence over others. Someone is considered  powerful if he or she has the ability to influence others  in acting or doing something they expect them to do. In other words, one is considered powerful in society based on the degree at which he or she is able to influence the behaviour of others. As mentioned earlier, power is often interpreted depending on the culture we find ourselves in as well as have different requirement in attaining such status. For instance, some cultures in Africa may describe a powerful man as one occupying a very important position of responsibility, married to many wives and capable of running different projects in the community. This is in contrast to other parts of the world where marrying many women is not tolerated in such areas. This is indicative of power being subjective as one considered to be powerful in an area may not be seen as someone influential according to others. This leads me to the question; are powerful people necessarily the most respected?

A person is considered to be respected if he or she can be used as a reference based on how influential they are in society. It is very possible to be powerful but not respected. Power is like a drug which unfortunately is often abused. It usually ends up controlling us rather than we controlling it. During this period we tend to lose respect especially when it is used for the wrong reasons, such as imposing fear through violence, bullying,suppression or other ways which are inappropriate. Unfortunately, these violent methods in many cases are often used as the only ways to earn respect. Again, respect has to do with being appreciated or referenced as one having a positive influence.

Whenever we use power in extreme ways to earn respect, we earn up losing it in the process. Be it husbands abusing their wives, teachers abusing students, leaders suppressing their people, these are the easiest means of losing respect. This is due to the fact that we allow ourselves to be controlled and later consumed by power which ends up leaving us rather weak. Being powerful means being able to control power and using it for the appropriate reasons. In this process we automatically earn respect rather than struggle to find one.

Why you need to quit a life of complaints.

” Do not allow challenges escape your watch without taking something positive out of it”.


Monday: No one seems to care about my situation.

Tuesday: No guy seems to be interested in me.

Wednesday: Why can’t I get a job?

Thursday: I’m broke and no one seems interested in helping.

Friday: My sister is difficult to live with.

Saturday: I’m not happy, life is so unfair.

Sunday: Oh, my God. Why is it rainy today?

Life has never owed any one any explanation on how it operates. From the moment of our birth till our departure, from our first breath to the last, every second, minute, hour, day, weeks, month, year and the ages, life has never,is not going to and will never owe any one an explanation,not even a promise. Therefore a life of complaints is surely a waste of time.

Life is all about optimism. As we continue to develop as humans, we realize the need to learn, improve, adapt and continue to seek for ways to survive, by using our life given potentials, irrespective of the conditions we find ourselves in. It’s true one cannot underestimate the challenges that come in the way, but a better approach could be staying positive and finding an underlying message about the situation rather than complaining. In other words, taking something positive in every situation accompanied by the believe in one’s potential are both indispensable recipes for us moving forward.

There is nothing bad in complaining. But complaining becomes a problem when it becomes a regular part of life. It is a bad habit we adopt which leads us no where other than exploit us negatively. Regularly complaining in itself shields weakness. We feel helpless and ignore any possibility of being able to look beyond our obstacles. You focus on finding the easiest pathways in life or expecting something great to come your way, all because you allow obstacles scare you away.

Pessimism becomes part of life. Always complaining  tend to easily invite negativity. From your perspective, everything seems to be very unfair to you. Besides allowing yourself to be easily defeated by obstacles,you subconsciously develop an attitude of always fearing the unknown. This results to an unproductive lifestyle as it becomes extremely difficult in getting things done.

A complaining attitude is devastating to the human mind. Whenever we do complain , we show a desperation for attention. It’s¬† a terrible behaviour which needs to be gotten rid of. Sometimes it acts as a repellant and might lead you losing respect towards others especially when most of the conversation is focused on complaints rather than something productive.